The Situation In The Women's Shelter

Usually children are not well prepared for the sudden move into the shelter. They are confronted with a new situation which entirely changes their everyday routines. They have to get used to keeping the location of the shelter confidential, to communal life within the group of residents. Also they have to deal with leaving behind friends and their usual social environment, sometimes their pets ...
Often children have to go to a new day-care center or school, and some children suffer very much from this change.

Children have to deal with the critical transitions their mothers are going through. At the same time they have to get used to new kids and find their place within the group.

There are always children and women leaving the shelter and always new ones arriving. For the children it is hard to constantly build up new relationships.
For their mothers children take on a new "role". They can become a kind of "surrogate partner", a role which is demanding too much of children.

It takes some strain off the children when the shelter staff and residents show understanding, sympathy, and solidarity for their mothers. Children participate in the positive changes their mothers go through.

The need to keep the location of the shelter confidential might be a problem for children. They cannot have visitors, cannot invite friends to come over, and are not allowed to tell the address.

Talking to other kids helps children understand that others had the same or similar experiences in their families. They can more easily talk about their feelings, fears, and hopes with other kids.