Still in doubt?
I don't know if I want to leave my husband/ boyfriend?.
I am just too tired and will probably never make it.
What will friends, family, and neighbors think?
I have no money. How can I make a new life for myself?
I don't speak German.
Is the women's shelter a refuge for battered wives only?
What is my position from a legal point of view?
I don't know if I want to go to a women's shelter.
Can I do this to my kids, bringing them to a women's shelter?
What does it look like in the women's shelter? What kind of women are living there?
Our staff does not expect that you come with decisions all made up. Rather, your stay in the women's shelter is an opportunity to rest and think calmly about your life. Our staff will listen and assist you.
Women living in the shelter are free to return home whenever they wish to.
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To apply for social welfare benefits the shelter staff refers women with financial problems to the Social Welfare Office.
We help you to find housing. You are highly eligible for a rental permit for low-income housing ("Wohnberechtigungsschein mit Dringlichkeit").
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Also BORA Women's Shelter offers introductory courses where participants learn about German every-day language, customs and culture. These courses are offered for free on a regular basis, course content depends on what participants already know and/ or wish to learn.
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No, although the majority of the shelter residents escaped from their husbands or partners. Women who seek shelter from their mother, their girl-friend, their pimp, or a stranger threatening them are welcome in the shelter as well. We wish to state clearly that humiliation, stalking, emotional terrorizing, taking away money, imprisonment, the restriction of contacts outside of the home, threats ("I'll kill you, I'll take the kids away from you, I'll have you deported"), and constant jealousy are also forms of violence.
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Every two weeks an experienced woman lawyer comes to the shelter and offers legal counseling for women who are seeking divorce and have children with their husband/ partner. Also we can suggest to you competent women attorneys specializing in divorce and child custody. If your residence status depends on your husband's status as a (German) citizen, we will help you to utilize all ways legally possible so you can stay in the country. In this respect we can make full use of experts' interpretations of Germany's Aliens Law in regards to the situation of victims of domestic violence.
For further information on criminal proceedings in domestic violence trials BORA women's shelter recommends the brochure "Jetzt erst Recht [Even more so now]" (published by BIG - Berliner Initiative gegen Gewalt gegen Frauen [Berlin Initiative Against Violence Against Women]). The brochure can be ordered at the City of Berlin's Women's Counseling Centers [Frauenberatungsstellen] which also offer legal counseling.
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Unfortunately it is not possible to simply come by a women's shelter and take a look around. The location of all shelters is kept strictly confidential. Staying in a women's shelter certainly is not "the end", it is no "social disgrace", it does not mean "defeat". Rather it is a beginning, a turning point in the life of the women. Few women who lived in the shelter came to later regret this step. If you are in doubt, call our co-workers at the Frauenberatungsstelle [Women's Counseling Center].
This informal phone call can be an opportunity for you to re-think your life without being forced to make decisions at once and with the assistance of a competent counselor. If you wish you can call anonymously, you are under no obligations whatsoever.
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For most mothers this question seems to be the most painful and upsetting. But please consider that your children - whether they themselves are suffering violence or not - are victims of the abusive relationship which leaves its marks on them. Thus most children need professional help, they need adults who are taking their side. In BORA Women's Shelter professional child educators are working with your kids. Each child is assigned one contact person from the pedagogical staff who is responsible for the child's welfare during the entire length of its stay in the shelter.
Most kids get used to life in the shelter much faster than their mothers. Soon they meet like-minded friends and together they discover the huge outdoor playground and the kids' area in the house.
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Please take a look and click on "Life in the Women's Shelter".
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I am just too tired and will probably never make it.
What will friends, family, and neighbors think?
I have no money. How can I make a new life for myself?
I don't speak German.
Is the women's shelter a refuge for battered wives only?
What is my position from a legal point of view?
I don't know if I want to go to a women's shelter.
Can I do this to my kids, bringing them to a women's shelter?
What does it look like in the women's shelter? What kind of women are living there?
I don't know if I want to leave my husband/ boyfriend?
Our staff does not expect that you come with decisions all made up. Rather, your stay in the women's shelter is an opportunity to rest and think calmly about your life. Our staff will listen and assist you.
Women living in the shelter are free to return home whenever they wish to.
top
I am just too tired and will probably never make it.
Most women feel like this. Being constantly confronted with abuse and violence is extremely exhausting and makes women feel helpless. Also, most women in abusive relationships are kept down and their talents and abilities are belittled. In the women's shelter you will rediscover your strengths as you will gain a new and realistic view of yourself, solving your problems step by step and with the support of other women.top
What will friends, family, and neighbors think?
Women often feel shame because of the violence they are suffering. This is a socialized response to male violence, the reasons for it are found in a long tradition of women's oppression. If you feel responsible for everything going on around you, you may also think that you are to blame for the violence against you and your children. In reality, however, it is the abuser alone who is to blame. Don't take on something for which only he is responsible. Don't let yourself be talked into feeling guilty for his violent behavior.top
I have no money. How can I start a new life?
To apply for social welfare benefits the shelter staff refers women with financial problems to the Social Welfare Office.
We help you to find housing. You are highly eligible for a rental permit for low-income housing ("Wohnberechtigungsschein mit Dringlichkeit").
top
I don't speak German.
Not all staff members of BORA Women's Shelter are fluent in languages other than German. However, to be able to communicate with all women and children we work closely with women translators. We try our best to make your voice be heard and understood.Also BORA Women's Shelter offers introductory courses where participants learn about German every-day language, customs and culture. These courses are offered for free on a regular basis, course content depends on what participants already know and/ or wish to learn.
top
Is the women's shelter a safe house for battered wives only?
No, although the majority of the shelter residents escaped from their husbands or partners. Women who seek shelter from their mother, their girl-friend, their pimp, or a stranger threatening them are welcome in the shelter as well. We wish to state clearly that humiliation, stalking, emotional terrorizing, taking away money, imprisonment, the restriction of contacts outside of the home, threats ("I'll kill you, I'll take the kids away from you, I'll have you deported"), and constant jealousy are also forms of violence.
top
What is my position from a legal point of view?
Every two weeks an experienced woman lawyer comes to the shelter and offers legal counseling for women who are seeking divorce and have children with their husband/ partner. Also we can suggest to you competent women attorneys specializing in divorce and child custody. If your residence status depends on your husband's status as a (German) citizen, we will help you to utilize all ways legally possible so you can stay in the country. In this respect we can make full use of experts' interpretations of Germany's Aliens Law in regards to the situation of victims of domestic violence.
For further information on criminal proceedings in domestic violence trials BORA women's shelter recommends the brochure "Jetzt erst Recht [Even more so now]" (published by BIG - Berliner Initiative gegen Gewalt gegen Frauen [Berlin Initiative Against Violence Against Women]). The brochure can be ordered at the City of Berlin's Women's Counseling Centers [Frauenberatungsstellen] which also offer legal counseling.
top
I don't know if I want to go to a women's shelter.
Unfortunately it is not possible to simply come by a women's shelter and take a look around. The location of all shelters is kept strictly confidential. Staying in a women's shelter certainly is not "the end", it is no "social disgrace", it does not mean "defeat". Rather it is a beginning, a turning point in the life of the women. Few women who lived in the shelter came to later regret this step. If you are in doubt, call our co-workers at the Frauenberatungsstelle [Women's Counseling Center].
This informal phone call can be an opportunity for you to re-think your life without being forced to make decisions at once and with the assistance of a competent counselor. If you wish you can call anonymously, you are under no obligations whatsoever.
top
Can I do this to my kids, bringing them to a women's shelter?
For most mothers this question seems to be the most painful and upsetting. But please consider that your children - whether they themselves are suffering violence or not - are victims of the abusive relationship which leaves its marks on them. Thus most children need professional help, they need adults who are taking their side. In BORA Women's Shelter professional child educators are working with your kids. Each child is assigned one contact person from the pedagogical staff who is responsible for the child's welfare during the entire length of its stay in the shelter.
Most kids get used to life in the shelter much faster than their mothers. Soon they meet like-minded friends and together they discover the huge outdoor playground and the kids' area in the house.
top
What does it look like in the women's shelter? What kind of women are living there?
Please take a look and click on "Life in the Women's Shelter".
top